Some things to do when you retire
Watch your weight – guess at your calories – count your blessings – praise the Lord – stay active – walk your dog – now rest a little – stretch or yawn – take your choice – write a check – or better yet deposit one – be courteous – call up a friend – don’t forget to hang up – go to an auction sale – visit with your neighbor – eat out once in a while – the wife you save may be your own – write a letter – don’t forget to mail it – get exercise – straighten up the basement a little - empty the wastepaper basket – visit the sick – help the poor – go shopping – count your change – don’t be bored – plant a little garden – think – think twice – now wash the car – hold the hands of your better half – it pays – take you pills – if not thank the good Lord – smile – make your better half smile also – remember your Creator – read the Bible often – rock the rocker – now stop that’s great plenty – whistle or hum – maybe better hum – sell a cow – or else buy one – give a tip to your paper boy – turn off some lights – sing a song – now listen to your companion – that’s better – eat an apple – go get some fresh air – don’t hurry – try to stay in bed a little longer in the morning – it isn’t easy – go comb your hair – make everybody happy - do unto others – remove the beam from your eye – go to church – give your wife a day off – then cook your own dinner – stack the dishes – watch and pray – feed a squirrel – go get the mail – have a hoppy – build a birdhouse – watch the clock – don’t set the alarm – read the paper – check the markets – sit in the sun – get a tan – plant a bush – tie your shoe – fill the birdbath – also check the bird food – close the door – play your harp – have faith – rejoice – evermore –
Written, March 1 1967 by Ezra Hohulin, the first day of his retirement from Caterpillar Tractor Co. East Peoria, Ill.